What's the Difference Between Romantic Love and the Love That God Wants From Us?

Romantic love and the love that God wants from us are both important but serve different purposes and are expressed in different ways. Here’s how they differ:

1. Nature and Focus:

   • Romantic Love: Romantic love is often focused on emotional and physical attraction between two people. It involves a deep affection and desire to be close to someone in a special, exclusive way. The Song of Solomon in the Bible beautifully describes this kind of love between a man and a woman, celebrating the joy and passion of romantic love. Song of Solomon 1:2 NKJV says, "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—For your love is better than wine."
   • God’s Love: The love God wants from us is agape love, which is unconditional, selfless, and sacrificial. It’s a love that seeks the best for others, regardless of emotions or circumstances. This love is described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NKJV, which says, "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

2. Foundation:

   • Romantic Love: Romantic love is often based on mutual attraction, shared interests, and emotional connection. While these are important, romantic love can be fragile if it relies solely on these aspects without a deeper foundation.
   • God’s Love: God’s love is grounded in His character and is unchanging. It’s not based on feelings or circumstances but on a commitment to love others as Christ loves us. This love is meant to be the foundation of all relationships, including romantic ones, ensuring they are healthy, enduring, and God-honoring.

3. Purpose and Expression:

   • Romantic Love: The purpose of romantic love is to bond two people together in a relationship that often leads to marriage. It is expressed through affection, companionship, and physical intimacy within the boundaries of marriage. Hebrews 13:4 NKJV says, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
   • God’s Love: The love that God wants from us is expressed through obedience to His commands, love for others, and a commitment to live according to His will. John 14:15 NKJV says, "If you love Me, keep My commandments." This love is expressed in actions that reflect God’s character, such as forgiveness, generosity, and compassion.

4. Longevity and Stability:

   • Romantic Love: Romantic love can be intense but is often subject to change over time. It may fluctuate based on emotions, experiences, and the ups and downs of a relationship.
   • God’s Love: God’s love is steadfast and eternal. It doesn’t change based on circumstances and is not dependent on human emotions. Romans 8:38-39 NKJV says, "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

5. Inclusivity:

   • Romantic Love: Romantic love is exclusive, typically shared between two people who are in a committed relationship, such as marriage. It is a unique bond that sets a couple apart from other relationships.
   • God’s Love: God’s love is inclusive and universal. It is extended to everyone, regardless of who they are or what they’ve done. Matthew 5:44-45 NKJV says, "But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven."

6. Emotional vs. Sacrificial:

   • Romantic Love: Romantic love is often driven by emotion and personal connection. It involves feelings of affection, passion, and a desire to be with the other person.
   • God’s Love: God’s love is sacrificial, often requiring us to put others’ needs before our own, even when it’s difficult or costly. 1 John 3:16 NKJV says, "By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren."

7. Role in Relationships:

   • Romantic Love: In the context of a romantic relationship, this love is essential for building intimacy and connection between partners. It’s a beautiful gift from God meant to be enjoyed within the boundaries He has set.
   • God’s Love: God’s love is the foundation for all relationships, including romantic ones. It teaches us how to love others in a way that is patient, kind, and enduring, ensuring that romantic love is not just a fleeting emotion but a lasting commitment.

In summary, romantic love is a special and important part of human relationships, particularly in marriage. However, it is meant to be grounded in and guided by the greater, more enduring love that God wants from us—agape love. This divine love is the foundation that strengthens and sustains all other forms of love, ensuring they are healthy, honoring to God, and truly fulfilling.