What Does the Bible Say About Dating?

The Bible doesn’t directly address dating as it is understood in modern times, but it provides principles that can guide Christians in developing healthy and God-honoring relationships. Here’s what Scripture teaches about relationships that can apply to dating:

1. Pursue Purity:

   • The Bible consistently calls for sexual purity in relationships. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 NKJV says, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God."
   • Explanation: In the context of dating, this means setting boundaries to maintain purity and avoid situations that could lead to temptation. It’s important to honor God with your body and to respect the purity of the person you are dating.

2. Seek God’s Will:

   • Dating should be approached with a desire to seek God’s will and to honor Him in the relationship. Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths."
   • Explanation: Pray for God’s guidance in your dating relationship, asking Him to lead you to a partner who shares your faith and values. Make decisions that align with His Word and seek His wisdom in how to proceed in the relationship.

3. Focus on Character Over Appearance:

   • The Bible emphasizes the importance of inner character over outward appearance. 1 Samuel 16:7 NKJV says, "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'"
   • Explanation: When considering a dating relationship, prioritize the person’s character, faith, and values over physical appearance or superficial qualities. Look for someone who demonstrates Christ-like qualities such as kindness, humility, and integrity.

4. Guard Your Heart:

   • The Bible warns about guarding your heart, especially in relationships. Proverbs 4:23 NKJV says, "Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life."
   • Explanation: Be mindful of your emotions and the potential risks of giving your heart too quickly. Take the time to build a relationship on a strong foundation of friendship, trust, and shared values before becoming too emotionally invested.

5. Pursue a God-Centered Relationship:

   • A healthy dating relationship should be centered on Christ, with both individuals seeking to grow in their faith together. Matthew 6:33 NKJV says, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."
   • Explanation: Make sure that your relationship is helping you grow closer to God, rather than distracting you from Him. Pray together, study the Bible, and encourage each other in your spiritual walk.

6. Respect and Honor Each Other:

   • The Bible calls for mutual respect and honor in relationships. Romans 12:10 NKJV says, "Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another."
   • Explanation: In dating, this means treating each other with dignity, being considerate of each other’s feelings and boundaries, and always acting in a way that reflects Christ’s love.

7. Avoid Unequal Yoking:

   • The Bible warns against forming close relationships with those who do not share your faith. 2 Corinthians 6:14 NKJV says, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"
   • Explanation: It’s important to date someone who shares your faith and values, as this provides a strong foundation for a future marriage. Dating someone who does not share your commitment to Christ can lead to spiritual compromise and conflict.

8. Consider the Future:

   • Dating should be approached with the intent of finding a potential marriage partner. It’s important to consider whether the person you are dating is someone you could see yourself marrying. Amos 3:3 NKJV says, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"
   • Explanation: Have honest conversations about your future goals, values, and vision for life. Make sure that you are both on the same page about important issues such as faith, family, and life priorities.

9. Seek Counsel and Accountability:

   • The Bible encourages seeking wisdom and counsel from others, especially in important decisions like relationships. Proverbs 11:14 NKJV says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety."
   • Explanation: Involve trusted mentors, family members, and spiritual leaders in your relationship. They can provide valuable advice, encouragement, and accountability as you navigate the dating process.

10. Pray for Discernment:

    • Throughout the dating relationship, pray for discernment and clarity from God. James 1:5 NKJV says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."
    • Explanation: Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment as you evaluate the relationship. Trust Him to guide you in making decisions that are in line with His will for your life.

In summary, while the Bible doesn’t directly address modern dating, it provides timeless principles that can guide Christians in developing healthy, God-honoring relationships. By prioritizing purity, character, and a Christ-centered approach, dating can be a positive and fruitful experience that leads to a strong, God-honoring marriage.